Verse Highlight: Ephesians 5:1-2 “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” (NLT)

Dear Moms,

I cringe a little when I remember some of the internal struggle I went through while I was pregnant with my youngest. After our second youngest had been born, we mostly thought that we were done. We had seven children (& miscarriages!) and had begun to feel like that season of our family life was coming to an end. We went ahead and added two dogs to our brood and began settling into a new phase of life—one that was absent of pregnancy and newborns and all that went with that. However, when I felt the prompt of my heart that perhaps we weren’t done after all, I listened. I prayed about it. I asked the Lord to speak to my husband, if this was indeed the case. And He did! In a very specific & miraculous way. (Through a prophetic word given by a stranger while he was in another state.) So, it wasn’t a surprise when I found out that I was pregnant. However, it was a surprise when I miscarried. There was grief, of course. Yet, it was different somehow. I grieved but with a deeper peace, and trust, and hope. I was able to worship the Lord wholly even as I was miscarrying—not in spite of what was happening, as had been the case in previous situations. Instead, I was truly trusting Him and captivated by His goodness and beauty. It’s hard to put into words how special this time was, even in the midst of grief. At the other side of it, it truly felt like closure and healing to pain of my journey to motherhood. 

So, when I later became pregnant again, I was a little caught off guard. It wasn’t that there wasn’t any joy in it. But, I felt unprepared. And, as my pregnancy progressed the weight of the cost of adding a baby to my life caused pain and fear because I had already begun to dream and plan for life after babies. It all came to a head in Hawaii. I was in Maui with Jamey. He had surprised me with a trip for our twentieth anniversary. (I found out the next day I was pregnant.) By the time we went, I was six months pregnant and everyone thought we were there on a “baby” moon. I look back now and see it’s silly, but at the time, I hated each time someone made that comment! I was there on a romantic trip! But, my pregnancy had changed so much of it! It wasn’t fair! So it was that towards the end of the trip, we were sitting eating lunch on a balcony overlooking the ocean—on an absolutely beautiful day!—but I was in tears, pouring out the pain of having to give up my plans that didn’t include a newborn. And, looking ahead at the future and doing the math of just how long it would be until I didn’t have a small person who needed me. It suddenly felt like my whole life had been swallowed up, and I would never be my own again!

I think most moms have been there, at least for a moment here or there. As I write this, I have a three year old that is the absolute apple of my eye. I cherish her. I cherish my moments with her. I often wish I could slow down time and have more time with her in these special days! So, when I think back to my fears, I am so very thankful to the Lord! His goodness gave me this precious girl as a gift, even when I couldn’t receive her as a gift at first. 

What does this have to do with today’s devotional? Because today’s devotional is about the sacrificial nature of love. Love is complicated. It is so beautiful and it makes us feel so good. When we love someone, we get joy by giving to them. It doesn’t really make sense. Yet, love is more than that. Pure love costs us. It sacrifices self for the sake of another. And, sometimes this is painful. 

There is a story about David in 2 Samuel 24 (or 1 Chronicles 21). David has sinned before the Lord and is  needing to offer a sacrifice to Him. While he is buying the the land on which he will offer the sacrifice, the man who owns it offers to give David the land for free. In this exchange, David makes the famous statement, “No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price, for I will not offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God which cost me nothing.”

There is something about love (and worship and service) that is much more precious when it comes at a cost. Our Father in heaven was willing to offer the sacrifice of His own Son because of His love for us. If love cost Him that much, I don’t know why we would ever believe that it doesn’t cost us, too!

Motherhood is amazing. Our children are a gift that add great joy to our lives. But, they are not in our lives to serve us. Instead, we have been entrusted with them and it is up to us to love them with the same love type of love that the Lord loves us with! This love empowers them and believes in them and treats them with kindness. This type of love will create a home that is safe and filled with joy and hope and heart connection. But, this does not come free. 

The Message version of the Bible says Ephesians 5:1-2 like this, “Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.” 

I love this: His love was not cautious, but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something but to give everything. 

This is what love looks like. Any other version is a cheap knock off. 

When I look back to the inner pain and struggle that I had before my youngest was born, I am so thankful for the process the Lord took me through, A lot of ugliness came out of me. Though I had trusted Him so well in the miscarriage I had shortly before, I struggled to trust Him with my future as a mom of eight. The truth is that I didn’t want to. I wanted to do things my way. I didn’t want to sacrifice my plans. 

This process mirrors other struggles I’ve had. Though it embarrasses me that after all the times the Lord has proved Himself good & faithful to me I still fail to trust Him sometimes, I am so thankful for the process of surrender because it has helped me to learn how to love. (Real love—the kind that is eternal in nature!) It isn’t that I am there yet, I am still on the journey. But, at least now I recognize the value. I understand that there is nothing greater I could do than lay down my life for another. 

There is nothing greater that any of us can do. 1 John 3:16 says we know love because of what Jesus did. The NLT version says it this way: “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us…”

We know real love. The kind of love that is deep and wide and eternal in nature. We’ve been loved like this—we are loved like this! So, we don’t have to offer anything less to those around us. True love, real love, is not selfish in nature. It looks out for the interests of others & willingly pays a price in service and care of them. 

Moms—you’ve got this. Your love is more valuable than you know and no sacrifice is wasted! The love you offer will not just shape the world you (and others!) live in here, but it will live on into eternity. 

Action Step: Spend some time in prayer, processing love! Receive love from the Lord first. Then, ask Him to help you to love unselfishly. It may be that there is some correction or mindset/heart change that needs to happen during this time! As it does, trust Him! Say yes to His ways! After this, go about your day with a changed & lightened heart, filled with “real” love for those around you.