I can (faintly) remember regular uninterrupted quiet times: early morning prayer times, late nights in the Word. In depth Bible studies & rich community life around them. Then I had children. 

It would be an exaggeration to say that this completely stopped, but the form it took certainly changed. I’ve since discovered that—like most things—my “quiet times” or personal “devotion” times change from season to season. In some ways this has created a much deeper & more authentic connection with the Lord for me. I have learned how to connect with Him throughout my days, not just in uninterrupted time blocks. The result of this is a relationship that is much more “real” than religious. And sometimes (for example: adjusting to a new baby, going through a sickness, etc.) it is all you can do to maintain any type of connection to the Lord because there is no capacity for more than the whispered prayers of your heart. And the good news is that the Lord remains constant even in seasons like this! He is gentle & kind, faithful & full of mercy & grace. 

But, those seasons should be temporary. It is important to find ways to prioritize your connection with the Lord in more proactive ways. One way that I do this is by having consistent “Family Devotionals”. Let me warn you: this is not for the faint of heart! Kids (especially younger kids) are not built to sit quietly for long periods of time. Life doesn’t stop simply because you open your Bible or turn your heart towards the Lord in prayer. But, let me also encourage you: not only does it grow better over time, but the rewards of this time are immeasurable (both here & now & in eternity someday)!

So, today I am going to share a few things I’ve learned over the years with hopes that it will help you to create special times of connection between you, your family, and the Lord. 

1. Create a Consistent Time, Place & Name

First, it is very helpful to create a consistent time and place to have family devotionals. Notice that I said “create” not find. Rarely will you find time for anything. Life is usually too busy for that! Instead, you will need to create time for the things you value. And this should be something you value greatly! So, create time in your schedule for regular “Family Devotions”. Also, you don’t need to call it “Family Devotions” but do create a name for this time! That way your family will begin to understand the expectations around this experience. I also recommend stocking up on Bibles (children’s versions if you have younger kids), journals, coloring supplies, worship music & any other supplies that will be helpful to have on hand during this time. (Create a space to keep these, too. That way each time your Family Devotional is set to begin, everything you need is on hand already.)

Also, it is okay to start small and work your way up. What I mean by this is that you don’t need to find hours of time each day in order to feel like you are successful. Instead, maybe you start once a week and work your way up from there. It’s also okay if you don’t ever do it every day! The point is to create consistent points of connection between you, your family & the Lord; to show value for the Lord; and to create space to help your children learn practical skills for connecting with the Lord in His Word, in prayer, and in times of worship. 

2. Consistent Values, Various Methods

Determine from the beginning what values are driving your Family Devotional time. Why is this important for you & your family? Once that is clearly answered you may need to experiment a little bit to find the best way(s) to accomplish your goal. Also, as your children grow in age & in their understanding of & relationship to the Lord, the way this time is structured should changed, too. Also, it can simply be fun to use different methods from time to time. Perhaps you want to use a devotional book where everything is already prepared for you. Maybe you will read through a specific book of the Bible together. Whatever method you use, I recommend that you make sure your time includes:

• Prayer—Make sure to start your time together with prayer. It can simply be a “Thank you, Father that you are with us. We turn our hearts to you right now & ask for you to speak to us & help us understand your heart & words. Draw us close to you & each other during this time. Amen.” It is also good to spend time in prayer for people or situations that you know that need prayer, as well as to regularly spend time thanking the Lord and worshiping Him with your words. I do recommend that you find ways to let everyone participate (out loud), though not everyone needs to participate each time. Also, remember that prayer should be talking & listening! (And I highly recommend sharing what you are hearing the Lord say with each other & taking note of what is said in a journal or something. I have had the Lord speak powerfully in my life by listening to what my young kids were sharing during times like this!)

• Worship—Worship is often associated with music and for good reason. This was true even in Biblical times. If you are able to lead worship musically yourself, that can be helpful for this time! My husband sometimes does this for us on the guitar. Otherwise, I will play different worship music (using my phone) and the kids & I will lead worship that way. There are some very powerful songs that can help create special moments in God’s Presence this way! It is helpful also to play the same music often enough that you are familiar with it & can easily sing along & have a general understanding of what the song is about. I also allow my kids to dance or draw & color during times of worship, encouraging them to make sure what they are doing is in connection to worship of the Lord. I don’t enforce any specific rules over standing or sitting, etc. as I long ago learned that what was happening outwardly may not accurately reflect what is happening inwardly. However, I do make my kids participate with this time. Also, it is important to note that music is not necessary for times of worship! Reading a Psalm, sharing prayers of worship, writing a poem in praise of the Lord, etc…there are many ways to worship. So don’t feel constrained by what your picture of “worship” may be. The important thing is to connect your heart in awe & wonder of the Lord and then express that awe to Him!

• The Word—One of the main ways that the Lord connects with us & teaches us is through the Bible. It can be difficult for us to understand how precious this book truly is, simply because we have such easy access to it. But, the Words in it are of such great value that people in other nations will risk their lives for it! That isn’t because it is a religious text, but because it contains the very words of God—the words of life. But, with that said, getting through it can be difficult. It was written in other languages, to people of other cultures and time periods so it shouldn’t be surprising that it can be difficult to understand! The good news is that there are a lot of tools to help. If you are new to reading the Bible, I encourage you to find a devotional book that can help you understand as you read. It is also helpful to start reading in one of the four gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke or John (at the beginning of the New Testament). Also, I personally love to read in different translations. (There are apps that make this possible for free too, like Bible Gateway.) 

Our family uses a Bible Reading Plan for our family devotional now, as so many of our children are now old enough to read on their own. We open in prayer, spend some time in worship, then will read on our own (the little ones read in a children’s Bible, color or look at books during this time) then come back and share what stuck out to us as we read, and then close in a time of prayer. However, for years, this wasn’t the case. Instead, I shared a Bible story or passage & we had discussion / activity around it. (Sometimes these were from a devotional book, but often we just created them on our own as we went.) Whatever method you use, take some time to learn about the Bible a bit/use tools to help you & your family grow comfortable & confident reading the Bible personally. 

• Connection—This may go without saying, but the point of doing Family Devotionals is to create connection with God and also each other! It is helpful to keep this in mind because that will change the way you approach this time. It isn’t about you simply connecting with the Lord. You also want to connect your hearts with each other too. This means that you value what is happening with your family during this time too! As you patiently listen to them & invite them into the process, you will find that your relationship with both them and the Lord deepens as a result!

3. Keep Little Hands Busy

Practically speaking, it is always helpful to have a plan to keep little hands busy! The ultimate goal is for your kids to learn how to (quietly, when appropriate!) connect with the Lord themselves. But, younger children may have difficulty sitting quietly for the duration of your Family Devotional time. To avoid frustration at this, be prepared to keep them busy! Provide coloring materials, books to look at, or other “quiet” activities to keep them busy. Let them move around (as quietly as possible). Encourage them to dance & participate when possible during times of worship. Include them in short prayers. The point is to make them a part of this time, but don’t get frustrated if they are not at the development level needed for your ideal devotional time. Instead, find ways to engage them & then let them be. As they grow the way they engage will grow too, and you don’t want this time to be one that is filled with conflict or dread for either of you. 

4. Teach, model, then let your kids make it their own. 

There are many benefits to creating consistent Family Devotionals. You will find it is good for your heart and relationships! However, one of the purposes of this time is to empower & equip your children to connect with the Lord personally themselves—long after they are no longer living in your home. This means that you need to find ways to help them to “do the stuff” themselves so that they grow comfortable and confident in their own prayer lives and connection with the Bible, etc. Because of this, it is extremely helpful to teach them but not try to control them! Their relationship may look different than yours! Their expressions of worship may look different! Perhaps they dance before the Lord or use other creative expressions. Their time in the Bible may look different! Maybe they find life in a Bible Translation you don’t. And so on and so forth. With this in mind, consider the values you are trying to instill in your kids: a love for the Bible? A personal connection with God? A heart of worship? A fruitful prayer life? (And so on.) Ask the Lord to help draw your kids into those thing, then do your best to lead, but trust Him to be the One to actually establish that firm foundation in your children’s hearts & lives. Also, it is important to note that your children will learn from you both as you intentionally teach them and as you live. So do your best to live and grow in these values in your personal life, too. 

5. Family Devotionals are not a task but a value, so stick with it!!

You are growing a relationship not merely passing down a religion. So, value the experience & use the experience to practice your values! Remember, children loved Jesus! And He loved them. This is just as true today as it was then! So, these times should be fun & full of life, light & connection. Keeping this in mind during your Family Devotional times helps you to value the right things and let go of the things that maybe seem important but actually aren’t. What a bummer if your Family Devotions end up bringing out the worst in your family as you struggle to control behavior and people. That is a sign that something is off. Unfortunately, this time won’t always go the way you hope or want. Some days will be better than others. Sometimes you will see amazing fruit & sometimes you will wonder if anything good is happening. But, if you stick with it, it will be worth it. You will do far more than pass down a religious practice or family value. You will connect your hearts firmly to one another and the Savior Himself. 

Blessings to you!