I used to be concerned with how much stuff my kids would accumulate over Christmas. The problem (in my eyes) was that their grandparents spoiled them! And, Jamey & I wanted in on the fun of giving gifts, too! By the time Christmas was over, the amount of gifts was quite staggering. How could I ever raise kids that are generous, thankful and good stewards of what they have been given in circumstances like these?
I do think these are important values to raise my kids with. But, over time, I have realized that my concerns are misplaced. I wanted to limit something in order for something else to grow. And that isn’t how it works. No matter what your circumstances—plenty or want, good times or bad—you need to purposely cultivate the character you would like to produce. And a good place to start is by cultivating it in your life, too! That way you and your family are on the journey together. And at the end of it there will be authentic, tangible results.
At Christmas—and all the time—it is important to cultivate generosity towards others! This included people both inside and outside of your home. It encompasses finances, certainly. But, it also is much bigger. It is about respect and kindness, humility and thankfulness. There are so many things to be said on this topic! But, for the sake of this short blog, I will only be concentrating on a couple practical things that are mainly financial in nature. Please know that generosity in finances is important, but (in my opinion) it is possible to give financially without actually being generous of heart, which misses much of the point. Cultivating a generous and kind heart in ourselves and our children is a lifelong mission, not just a Christmas time activity.
With that said, here are some practical ways to practice generosity:
- Teach your kids to share.
Obviously, I know. But, this is a skill that needs to be developed. It is not always easy to share! It is not particularly easy to share the things most precious to us or when things are demanded of us. Teaching our kids to share and be generous even when they don’t feel like it, is important. (This extends beyond sharing stuff into sharing time, skill, care, etc.)
- Don’t be concerned with “fair”.
We tell our children that we aren’t concerned about life being fair and they shouldn’t be either. Instead, we will treat everyone well. It isn’t possible to do both because inevitably what is good for one child isn’t for another. Opportunities are are not always equal or controllable. So, instead of worrying about fair—how many gifts each child gets, for example—we will do our best to treat everyone well.
- Give “as you go” / when the opportunity presents itself.
We make it a habit to keep money, gift cards, necessities with us as we go places and as we see people in need, we freely give it. If possible we pray with the person or offer a kind word as well, but no matter what it is important to treat people with value! There is no need for judgement and kindness is the rule. This also shouldn’t be treated as a big deal, either. It is simply treating others the way we want to be treated.
- Give gifts of love.
These can be small. They don’t need to be expensive. They can be handmade—treats, cards, pictures, etc. Several times around different holidays the kids and I have put together small care packages for friends and neighbors. Sometimes it is a homemade treat. Other times it is small gifts we have purchased (a favorite card game, for example). Every time it is planned and prepared with love. A token to say, “We are thankful for you! Thank you for being in our lives.” We drive around and deliver them, usually as a surprise, and it is so much fun for all of us!
- Give intentionally to causes & organizations you care about.
There are so many options out there that it can be overwhelming! But, the good news is that there are a lot of great options—from large organizations (like charitywater) to small single person run businesses (like Red Moon Weaving), you don’t need to have a large budget to contribute in significant ways. We give our kids the opportunity to give, but even when they are unable to contribute financially, I occasionally mention different organizations we support financially so that our children a) feel like they are a part of it (because they are!) and, b) as a part of helping our kids learn healthy financial habits.
No matter your philosophy around gifts this Christmas, generosity is important all year long. Blessings to you and your family as you practice it together!