When I was in sixth grade, we had an assignment to research our heritage. We were charged with the task of finding out where our ancestors had come from & report back, ready to share our newfound knowledge with the class. So, I went home and dutifully asked my parents the assigned questions. Some of what was shared included information I already knew: my maternal grandmother was Finnish & grandfather was German. But, I learned some new information about my dad’s side of the family. Part of that heritage came from a place called Croatia. This seemed very exotic to me, so I happily went to school ready to share. The problem arose when my teacher didn’t believe that Croatia was a real place. It was quite disappointing to sit through the celebration of the other students’ heritage, while mine was dismissed—or worse, apparently nonexistent.* Years later I would see a picture of Croatia and be stunned by its beauty—and climate. And, even though it may be a little silly, when I saw that picture it felt like a small piece of me made more sense. I thought, “Oh! That is why I am so drawn to places like that!”

Now, I don’t know how much my ancestral heritage has actually impacted me. My family has never especially celebrated or connected with our “roots” in that way. Sometimes I’ve wished that we did.  I’ve sometimes found myself jealous of those I know who seem to have such a strong sense of, and connection to, their culture & heritage. But, the truth of the matter is I do have a rich heritage. I come from a family that has its own traditions and habits. These things shaped my upbringing and shaped me. In fact, I have an amazing heritage! For example, among other things, my dad gave me the gift of sarcasm & my mom the gift of “letters”. (The ability to create letters from construction paper for a bulletin board or other similar things. Don’t ask. 😂) Perhaps more importantly, they have also given me the rich heritage of a family that sticks together. I have always known—throughout my entire life—the stability & security of a family that is committed to one another. I know I could call my parents with any type of need & they would do their best to help. And, not just my parents, but my extended family too. While I took this for granted in my younger days, I now realize it is a precious gift and many never experienced a heritage like this.

What is exciting to me about this is that now, as a parent, I get to create a connection between my children and their heritage. And even more, I get to create what kind of heritage their roots are connected to. I get to help create the traditions and habits of our home and family. I get to give my kids the security and stability that comes from being connected to a heritage that is bigger than themselves. One important way I do this is by passing on my stories. 

I tell my kids lots of stories. Memories from my life before they were around. Bits & pieces from our extended family heritage. Stories of them when they were younger. This may seem trivial, but the more children I have, the more I realize just how important this practice is. These stories aren’t merely entertainment. They are a practical way for me to create a sense of security in my children. The stories actually help them to know they aren’t on their own. Instead, they are connected to a community of people, a history, a culture. But, I don’t mean just mean the culture of other lands. I hardly mean that at all. Instead, I mean the culture of their family. This is who we are. Where we came from. What we do. Where we are going. And so on and so forth. 

And here’s some good news: Your story doesn’t have to be pretty or neat. It might be messy and hard. That’s okay! Nobody’s story is perfect. While I don’t share the all the details, and I make sure to stay age appropriate, my kids know that my/our story isn’t perfect either. I’m not afraid of them knowing this! (After all, they live with me. They already know it whether I’ve admitted it or not.) But, they also know the most important thing: that ours is a heritage of mercy, redemption, and love. 

I don’t know what your stories are like. I don’t know if your family tree is one you like to revisit or one that has caused you pain. But, I do know that the heritage you pass on to your kids is the one that you design. Yes, you may come from someplace, but only you can really determine what your story is. Your story may have shaped you, but it doesn’t determine your legacy. You do. And that, my friends, is what you will pass on to your kids—the stories of how you became who you are. In these stories they will also see themselves. This legacy, where you came from along with the reality you are creating for them now, will shape them more than you know. So, dust off the picture books, your box of keepsakes, & your memories themselves and start to tell your stories! You—and your kids—will be so glad you did. 

*My teacher can be at least partially excused. Croatia has a long & somewhat complicated history. At that time, it was a part of Yugoslavia, though it wouldn’t be too long until it would gain its independence again. (You can bet I felt a rather smug “I told you so” when Croatia was splashed across the news during the process of independence, hoping my teacher would see it and remember.) This same teacher also told me that Carmichael, CA wasn’t a real place & I must be confusing it with Carmel. I wasn’t & to this day each time I am in CA & see the exit signs to Carmichael I think of Mr.Xyz (not his real name). As a homeschooling mom, it comforts me to know that public school teachers aren’t perfect either. 😉