Love is patient, love is kind.  It is not self-seeking.  It does not easily boast.  Now these three—faith, hope and love—remain, but the greatest of these is love.**

Even if you don’t spend a lot of time in the Bible, those words are probably familiar to you. They are poetic and beautiful.  These words are frequently celebrated at weddings, and written in beautiful script on pictures, etc.  The only problem is that sometimes when things are poetic and beautiful, we don’t bother to look beyond the surface of them.

I’ve been pondering these words lately.  And, to be honest, I haven’t always liked them.  I mean, wouldn’t it be easier if love wasn’t unreasonably impatient? If it was kind when that was the natural response to the situation?  Or if it only thought about itself about half the time?  I think I could be a lot better at love if that was the case.

The truth is that love is not easy.  And deciding you’re going to love doesn’t really make it easier. Meditating on these words, has helped me in choosing loving behavior. However, it has also highlighted my failures. This adds to my stress level and, quite frankly, makes it more difficult for me to be patient and kind. Quite a quandary, especially when you’ve decided that the most important thing you can do for your children is raise them in a house of love.

Thankfully, I’ve discovered something. Yes, love has to be intentional. It’s something you have to choose and something that you grow in. But, it is also much easier if you learn one thing:  Be in the moment.  Be fully present in whatever situation you find yourself in. Try to eliminate distractions.  This is not easy! But, the end result is so worth it.

I, like all of you, have a lot going on in my life.  As a result, my life is constant multi-tasking.  And, as a mom, you often can’t get away from that.  Making dinner, doing laundry, helping with homework, referring between children, checking your e-mail—all at the same time.  Sound familiar?  There are simply tasks that need to be done and not enough time to do them. How easy in those moments is it to be patient?  To be kind?  If you are at all like me, those are the moments that you find yourself losing patience.  Being decidedly unloving.  And this is actually good news!

It is good news because it means that it isn’t that I am a terrible person or have some fatal character flaw.  It is just that I’ve been putting an undue amount of pressure on myself.  Perhaps you have also.  (I know this because it is a way of life in America.)  When I stop, take a deep breath, and immerse myself in only what is in front of me—wow.  Life changes!  I change.  I suddenly have the time to really connect with the moment.  To connect with the little one in front of me.

You see, when I am taking the time to look in my daughter’s eyes, I can’t help but be patient and kind.  Because I love her! When I take the time to sit still and look at my husband without thinking through the 75 things I need to do, I stop thinking about myself because I love him!

Raising my kids in a house of love means raising them in a home where I am present.  Not always distracted by my phone or my to do list.  It means things like this: Instead of simply making sure dinner gets made, I engage them in the process with me.  It takes longer, it is messier, and I certainly can’t multi-task, but I have actually spent my time doing that which is most important.

Love is patient.  Love is kind.  Love is here.

**Note: The above is just a few phrases taken out of  1 Corinthians 13.  I highly recommend you make the effort to read through the entire passage and meditate on it and see what fruit results!