Our family has a lot of traditions. We eat homemade Christmas rolls on Christmas morning. We go to Duluth and Gooseberry Falls every year. We go to the same Apple Orchard each year and pick apples. We have a special Star Wars shaped pancake breakfast on the first day of school. (Although, we have also added smiley face ones now too.) I could go on, but you get the point.
What I want you to know about these traditions is that they are all new. That is, Jamey and I didn’t grow up with these as constants in our lives. (Although we do have some of those–like Carbone’s Pizza, where his parents went on their first date, etc–that have been passed down from our growing up days.) They are things we have created as we’ve been going down this road called parenthood.
The last blog talked about the importance of connecting our kids to our family heritage. This one is going to focus on creating your own family heritage. See, this is the awesome thing about being a parent–you make up the rules! That means you aren’t limited by a reality created by anyone else! This is good news! It means that if your childhood wasn’t all that great–your children don’t have to be affected by that. Their childhood can still be amazing! And, if your childhood was ideal? Well, you get to pass down the best parts to your children and fill the rest with stuff that is unique to them. I don’t think I can overstate how awesome this is. This means that your home life right here and now can be anything you want it to be! You are born into your family heritage, but you get to choose what it becomes under your watch. What legacy are you going to leave with your children?
A couple helpful hints:
1. Traditions don’t have to be big or complicated or expensive to be meaningful.
2. Traditions should keep in mind the unique personality of your family–Star Wars pancakes are not going to be a great fit for everyone. Pick things that fit within the context of your value system and family personality.
3. Traditions don’t have to be big or complicated, but they do have to be intentional. It doesn’t have to be voiced “This is our family tradition” but in order for it to be a part of your family’s legacy, you have to be consistent.
4. It’s never too late to start. It doesn’t matter what age your kids are, it is never too late to change the course of your family history. It is never to late to create the legacy you dream about.
One final note…it’s okay if not every tradition is a big hit with each child. Each one will have their favorites. Having the traditions themselves, whether they are fully appreciated or not, will bring a sense of stability and unity to your family. However, it is okay to not stick with something that isn’t a success, too. If it didn’t work out the way you thought it would, simply find a new idea to try until you find the one that fits your family just right.