I have been married for almost half my life. The days before I was married feel as thought they were another lifetime.  Though I vaguely remember this “Nicole Cook” character, my memory of her has grown hazy.  No matter how hazy my memories though, the kids love to hear about those days.  They love to hear about my growing up days, their dad’s growing up days, the early days of our marriage.  They love to hear stories about their grandparents and aunts and uncles.

One reason for this, I know, is that it is hard to imagine their Daddy or I as being their age.  (And, some of the stories are pretty entertaining!)  However, even though they couldn’t put it into words, I also know that they like hearing the stories because it connects them to their heritage.  It makes them feel a part of something bigger than themselves and their own experiences.  And this is important.

It is important because we were all created to experience life from the context of family. And, not just the nuclear family of mom and dad and kids.  (Although that is a great start!)  It is important to connect our kids with their heritage.  Sometimes this happens as they connect relationally with the older generations of our families.  Other times it happens when we share the things we know about our family or our own personal memories and experiences.

Not only can connecting your kids with your family heritage be a fun experience, but it also opens to your children the opportunity of receiving your family inheritance.  And, I am not simply referring to monetary wealth.  I mean the true treasures of your family–spiritual inheritance, natural gifts and talents, value systems, etc.  These are the kinds of things your kids may identify with–the things that make them feel like they belong.  (“I am an artist, just like my great-grandma was.” And so on.)  They are also the things that may inspire them as they grow up.  Knowing your great-great-grandpa came to this country with nothing, but worked hard until he became a successful business owner may be just the thing that your child needs to be connected to in order to find the encouragement to persevere themselves.

Jamey and I have now buried all of our grandparents–each one of whom was a remarkable human being.  They lived through such amazing times and carried themselves with such class.  Sitting in their funerals there was so much to celebrate about their lives.  And, I recognize things in my children that came from them.  I want them to know that too.

So, what if your family heritage seems to contain more trash than treasure?  Well, then there are a couple things to keep in mind.  The first is that you don’t want to pass on a legacy of bitterness to your children.  Where you came from does not determine who you are.  So, the first step is to make sure you let go and forgive and don’t allow the past to keep you captive any longer.  After that, be a gold-hunter.  Find a way to see some good (even if it was potential that was never realized) and celebrate it.  The important thing to keep in mind is that whatever your family legacy may be, you are not confined by it.  You take what good is there and then, create a new chapter of it–a brand new one that can be whatever you want it to be.  But, that will be discussed more in the next blog…