I want my kids to have deep and rich friendships.  I have seen as the Lord has brought people into their lives at just the right time. The joy they have as they have that special sleep over or even simply see that special friend at church brings me great joy, too!  However, as much as I am thankful for those friends, it doesn’t change an important value in our home: “Family First”.

I do not believe that our family is an accident.  I don’t think the people that ended up in it were just thrown into it haphazardly.  I believe that our family has a rhyme and reason–a divine design, even.  So, I know that our family is a gift.  And, I tell my children this, too.

“You are the best friends you are ever going to have.”

“In order to really know how to love other people, you must first learn to love one another.”

“Other people may be in our lives for life, or may just be a gift for a season.  We are a gift to one another for life.  So, we probably should take good care of this gift!”

Those are the kinds of things that I have been known to say.  And, I’m not just saying it because I don’t want them to bicker.  I really believe it.  And I want them to believe it too.

People have asked me how I get my kids to like each other.  The truth is, I don’t give them a choice.  (By the way, it isn’t that my children never bicker or fight.  They do.  However, we don’t tolerate it as “normal” sibling life.)  I verbally give them a value system for one another.  But, that isn’t all.  Our life is also set up in a way that makes our family the priority. In order for family relationships to be thriving, there must be intention put toward that.  The fact that our girls share rooms helps them to be connected, but it is our value system that helps that connection to be healthy and full of joy.  If you want your family to love one another, you must believe that you were put together on purpose, that each of you is a gift to each other, and then find practical ways to live that out!

Over the next several blog posts, I’ll be writing about some of the practical things that our family does that maintain our heart connections and help our relationships grow.  In the meantime, if you haven’t, begin to verbally express value toward your family and the way it was put together, the people in it, etc.  You’ll find that it doesn’t take long for your children to adopt a spoken value as an internal one.

Happy family connections to you!